Did you know why the 25th of November is commemorated? This day has been marked, since 1981, by women’s rights activists to fight against gender-based violence. It’s honouring the courage of the Mirabal sisters, Minerva, Patricia, and María, brave activists from the Dominican Republic. In 1960, they were brutally murdered by the dictatorial government of Rafael Trujillo because they disagreed with his regime. Their bodies were found on the 25th of November.
In 1993, the General Assembly of the United Nations adopted the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women. This was done through Resolution 48/104. This declaration aims to eradicate violence against women and girls globally.
According to this declaration in Article 1, the term “violence against women” means any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life”.
Article 2 of the same declaration mentioned that gender-based violence forms can be physical, psychological, sexual, and economic. These forms are carried out by individuals and states. However, it also manifests that the above is not limited.
The report Violence Against Women Prevalence Estimates, 2018 was published by the United Nations system. It states that 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence globally.
My Story
I was still in my teenage years when I experienced physical violence from my boyfriend. He thought that “I was his property.” He was very jealous, controlling, and insecure. It all started when I decided to end the relationship because I was tired of being controlled by him. I said, “We are done,” but it was not over for him.
One night, I was heading out with a friend to dance. He stopped by and saw me dressed, so he knew I was going out, and I confirmed it to him. I was home alone. My mistake was turning my back and heading to my room to finish getting dressed. Suddenly, I felt him push me against my chest of drawers, where I hit my forehead. I got up and ran out to the porch to wait for my friend to arrive.
This was the first time. I tried to end my relationship with him, but he threatened to take his own life. I believed he was capable of doing it, so I remained in the toxic relationship. He did not change; he continued to be the same person. I was hoping that once I left my hometown, it was going to end, but no, he also decided to move to the same city.
I lived in a cycle of violence for some time. I got aggressive toward him, defended myself, and felt out of control. I did not recognize myself. After years, I realized that I did not want this life at such an early age, so I ended things with him. I did not care about his threats anymore and prohibited my friends from talking about me to him. This helped because he lost track of me.
It took many years for me to end this relationship. It was not easy. I thought this was normal. But I must confess that it was not easy. I am glad to sit now and write about this story. It is a healing process and also an example for other women who are experiencing the same situation.
Breaking the Silence
I am sure you are asking why I did not end this relationship the first time I experienced violence. Well, as I mentioned above, it is not easy. However, my advice is to break the silence if you can. Talk to your relatives or friends. Seek help from women’s organizations. Additionally, if you feel that your life is threatened by your partner, go to a shelter home and press charges.
Blaming yourself and feeling ashamed is a natural part of the process. Still, it’s important to know that you are not to blame.
Gender-based violence is a global crisis. Remember: you are not alone. It is not your fault. There is always support available.
Women Wheel 
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